As a female in her thirties,
I've been witness to the evolution of shaming and oppressing women in
America, and indeed the world round, for years. I have also watched the act of
shaming women become exponentially more toxic and vicious throughout my
childhood, adolescence, and adulthood. I have seen women blamed for their own
rapes because the clothing they chose to wear was "too provocative."
I have witnessed the assignment of blame to women who, fearing for the safety
and security of themselves and their children, didn't leave the spouse or
partner at whose hands they suffered brutal beatings and painful verbal
attacks. I've read of women persecuted by their contemporaries for having
children and then making the choice to return to the workplace instead of staying
at home.
Indeed, shaming women has become what some might call The Great
American Pastime. In 2011, American women saw over 1,100 pieces of state
legislation introduced that would have restricted the right to an abortion, and
before the ball dropped to ring in the new year on January 1, 2012, 135 of them
had been enacted. In addition to the staggering number of bills regarding
abortion care that were introduced, in the last year women in at least seven
states witnessed the defunding of Planned Parenthood affiliates, effectively
removing access to valuable, life saving health care such as pap smears, breast
exams, and STI testing. Women in at
least 12 states were faced with the passing, or attempt at passing, legislation
that would require transvaginal ultrasounds prior to receiving abortion care,
despite the stark absence of medical evidence suggesting that such procedures
provide any improvement in the quality of care a woman receives before
terminating a pregnancy. And perhaps the most egregious development, a national
debate about mandated insurance coverage for contraception was spawned when
conservatives, religious leaders, and even radio talk show hosts asserted that
access to contraception was a matter of morality and not medical necessity, and
further, that contraception use was the hallmark of sluts and whores. So yes,
you might say that I've seen my fair share of the shaming of women – and my
guess is that you have too.
Considering these
developments, it probably shouldn't have come as a surprise to me that when
Faith Aloud's 40 Days of Prayer—a campaign of prayers meant to lift up the
voices, hearts, and spirits of all people through peaceful prayers
acknowledging God's love for women, men, their families, and their
choices—caught the attention of the anti-choice community, the shaming would
begin once more. This time though, women were being shamed and judged for praying. Irrelevant, apparently, is the
fact that prayer is what some clergy call a biblical promise from God. No
matter that prayer is a fundamental principle in the Christian faith that
scripture repeatedly touts as an imperative component to living in a way
congruent with God's love and direction, and that which believers should turn
to in times of great difficulty and in times of great joy.
No, according to the
anti-choice community, women who pray for safe abortion care, women who pray
for the strength to make the best possible choices for themselves and their
families, women who pray that violence against medical professionals committed
to serving reproductive health needs will end, these prayerful women are
apparently becoming a threat to Christian America by “praying for abortion.”
And as has become the hallmark of the anti- choice community, they will resort
to shaming women in any way possible in order to stop them from praying for
their physical and emotional health. And so these anti-choice organizations and
leaders have written blogs and filmed interviews alleging that the women who
support 40 Days of Prayer are mocking the Christian faith. They call women and
their supporters nasty and inflammatory names like "murderer" and
accuse the groups, such as Faith Aloud, who actively support women and women's
health, of being “propaganda machines” aiming to "trick" women into
believing that abortion is an “easy” decision. In the most basic of
interpretations, the anti-choice community has turned prayer into a weapon
against those who mean to use it in the peaceful way that the Bible teaches us
to.
In my experience studying and
exploring both religion and theology from both an academic and personal
perspective, I have learned that there are a great number of differences among
the various sects of Christian faith, but that there are a great many
similarities as well. That Christians share similar values across the board
sometimes gets lost in the shuffle, and with it, the idea that there are
important theological concepts that help people choose how they will personally
worship and praise God. Some Christians, for instance, believe that we must
grow humility in our hearts as a part of developing our faith in the Lord; some
believe that we are called to make sacrifices to God and for God, by way of
acts such as tithing philanthropic endeavors; many Christians accept the
Bible and its teachings as God’s guide for making spiritually inspired moral
decisions when faced with dilemma, specifically looking to scripture for words
of comfort and direction; and indeed, many Christians believe that an important
(if not imperative) part of cultivating spiritual faith and trust is the use of
prayer to create a meaningful dialogue between oneself and God.
It is the
Bible’s emphasis on prayer and its powerful role and impact on the
relationship between a worshiper and God throughout scripture passages that
seems to leave little ambiguity, regardless of what sect of Christian faith one
identifies with, about how important the act of praying truly is in the
Christian faith. The Bible’s scriptures, in fact, go beyond just soliciting the
faithful to pray but also offer directives on how to do so. Consider Corinthians
14:15, for instance, which instructs the faithful, “What am I to do? I will pray with
my spirit, but I will pray with my mind also; I will sing praise with my
spirit, but I will sing with my mind also.” This scripture seems to
leave no question about two things: First, that prayer can take on many forms,
whether it is spoken, written, in our hearts and minds, or through song.
Second, and perhaps most importantly, prayer is meant to be a dialogue with God
that comes from the spirit and also our mind. God demands that we influence our
spiritual dialogue with our intellectual one, clearly demonstrating that God
trusts us to make moral decisions and impart our needs and desires to him
through prayer.
And so, I have to wonder what it is about a woman praying and
following this biblical directive to pray with her spirit and mind that
threatens the anti-choice community so much so that it will go to such great
lengths to rain untruths and a hateful campaign of rhetoric down upon an
organization like Faith Aloud and the women and men who support it. What is it
about the prayers of a woman like myself that attracts such negative and
aggressively hateful attention from a community that claims over and over to be
living and carrying out the word of God, often using the Bible as evidence of
their mission?
I am 34 years old and was
raised a Roman Catholic by two loving and devoutly Catholic parents who
emphasized compassion, charity, goodness, and faith my entire life. I received
the sacraments of baptism, penance, Eucharist, and confirmation as a child and
adolescent in accordance with my Catholic education; I once received the
Anointing of the Sick along with penance and Eucharist the night before a
surgery to remove a tumor on my spine that was believed to be filled with
cancer and that was suspected to likely lead to my early death. I taught the
CCD/Catechism, to children in my church during my middle and high school years.
I was surrounded by faithful and spiritual family and friends my entire life
and I was encouraged to pray, ask God for guidance, and extend my love to those
around me the way Jesus did in the Bible. I did all of that and yet, I still
struggle with my spiritual faith and question the presence of God almost daily.
My battle over my spirituality intensified last year when I endured a terrible
trauma that robbed me of my closest friend to an unexpected illness.
Interestingly, however, in my darkest moments, I have turned to prayer and, at
times, the church itself. I have found comfort in believing that there’s
something more to all of this and beyond. I have found peace in entrusting my
pain and anger to something greater than me. I have even enjoyed a calming
energy in participating in mass. And, as we near the one year anniversary of my
loss, I have found great joy and equanimity in the 40 Days of Prayer written and
inspired by Rev Rebecca Turner and Faith Aloud. I find myself turning to prayer
daily thanks to these devotions, and I feel a growing strength of spirit that
has little to do with abortion or birth control and everything to do with being
a proud woman looking for a solid foundation for my spiritual health in a time
of great struggle. That I happen to also be a former abortion care nurse and
that I happen to be pro-choice does not define me, the prayers shared by Faith
Aloud, or my faith – it does, however, define those who seek to shame and
disgrace me for using them. The definition of morality is a collection of
principles offering distinction between good and bad behavior. Is it immoral to
pray for the future of my family, or the safety of my countless health
caregiver colleagues, or the strength of my friends faced with choosing what’s
best for themselves and their families? No, simply stated, it is not. Not in my
eyes and not in the eyes of my God.
In Matthew 5:43-44, we read,
“You
have heard that it was said, Love thy neighbor and hate thy enemy. But I tell
you: Love thy enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” And so, in
response to the hateful speech and negativity of anti-choice organizations and
leaders who fear my prayers, my vigor, and my commitment to both God and
reproductive healthcare rights, I say this: In addition to these 40 Days of
Prayer devotions, I will pray for YOU. I will pray that you come to know the
God I know, the God who embraces us all and invites our prayers even when we
know not what we should pray for. I will pray that you find compassion in your
heart for all women, and especially for the women in your own life that may
have already, or may in the future, be faced with a painful decision about
pregnancy. I will pray that you begin to use prayer as an expression of thanks
or in solemn requests to God rather than a weapon to humiliate and disgrace those
who don’t share your “values.” I will ask my contemporaries and colleagues to
pray for you too. So, right after I pray for abortion to remain safe and legal,
right after I pray for the safety and wellness of the nurses and doctors who
legally provide abortion care, right after I pray for the women who terminate
pregnancies they desperately want but can’t keep because the pregnancy is
causing life threatening/ending issues….
After all my prayers for compassionate and loving acceptance of all
people, I will pray for YOU. I will pray for you because even those who insist
on twisting God’s word and intentions deserve our prayer and compassion.
The Bible says so.
-Joey
